What the heck is going on with me? Depression. Big bad psycho depression. And I had to get out of the house today so I went to my brothers restaurant. I wasn't even hungry. But I knew Matt would be there and that he would hug me. And probably feed me some of that delicious food they make there so I didn't see any cons to stopping in.
And he was there. And he did hug me. And he fed me (which I don't need, but to hell with it). And it was the first time in two weeks that I felt calm and not all full of anxiety. I had a delicious Black Olive cheeseburger. They actually stuff the burger with whatever cheese you want and they cooked it ( or rather DIDN'T cook it) RARE!!! YES. I am no vegetarian. I love very rare cold red center beef. And it was PERFECT! And I smiled. Not just the smiles I have been forcing on my face for the last few weeks, but an actual smile. It was THAT good.
And I took my time, read the book I brought with me and chatted with Gregory the bartender. And it was good.
It's like I have my own personal CHEER's . I know everyone ( almost) and they know me. It's so cool. So I left after a couple of hours feeling a little bit better.
The blues and anxiety aren't gone. And I'm sure they'll probably get worse again. But for a few hours today I was with family and I was happy.
Don't really know how to shake this off.... but right now I plan to just pick one of my favorite movies and have a Dr Pepper and try to ignore how glum I am. Whoever said ignoring a situation doesn't make it better? I am going to try to disprove that theory right now,
Until next time, when hopefully I will have something cheerful to say.....
