The Continuation of I TRY to remember HOW BLESSED ...

ooops..... prematurely selected post and screwed it up.... here is the continuation of it if anyone is interested .... otherwise, maybe the cliffhanger approach is best and might bring at least one of u back to read some more.....

Anyway.... so, where was I ... o ya ALTEREGO...blah blah.... So I guess by now you get the idea. I am having my very own bona fide pity party! And, consequently, decided to write in BLUE mid-sentence. WHY? You may ask? Well, because BLUE makes me happy. It soothes me and allows me more concentration. I'm feeling better by the minute!

SO, as EMBARRASSING as it may be for me to admit this; I will admit it to you; my one reader... ( if you're out there....) I could very barely drag myself out of bed today. BUT, I had to feed the dogs and cats; so I was out of bed by 10am. QUITE the feat for a night owl such as myself! And i haven't been sleeping fitfully all weekend. So I was quite impressed with myself. And I had all these great intentions of working out for my hour and cleaning the house..... WHATEVER. These ideas went right out the window as soon as I plunked myself down on the couch. I knew I was in trouble as I got sucked into an episode of " 16 and Pregnant" on MTV.

But this one was different than the usual crap ones I have seen. A very mature for their age couple had decided to give their baby up for adoption. They chose a great, young Christian couple. So the show followed the journey all the way ( obviously) through the birth and ultimate surrender of the baby to the adoptive parents. At the point where these two teenagers were walking the adoptive parents to the car from the hospital discharge; then the birth mom ( who was such a sweetheart!) was crying but trying to be strong; well she hugged the adoptive mom and they held on to each other extra tight and that was it. I totally LOST it. Sobbed my heart out. And I only realized how disturbing this was when my three dogs took off outside at the sound of me blowing my honker into the kleenex. Crap. At this point I realized whatever neighbors that were home were surely also hearing the great nose blowing and this would just be another thing for them laugh at their strange neighbor about!!!

I digress, ( which is VERY normal for me; it's sorta my M.O.) so, I shut T.V. off and tried to read. No luck there either. By 5pm I closed the book and restlessly turned the T.V. back on to distract myself. And, cool, God was certainly looking down on me.... because there was an episode of Medium beginning and I got lost in the show. Two episodes by which time Daniel would be home from work and more distraction! Hoo-ray. So, I popped his dinner in the oven at 6pm so that it would be done by 6:45ish around the time he would probably arrive home from his o so loooong day at work.

So all that worked just according to plan; then after our nightly routine some T.V. and some of him wandering off to his office to " compute" as he calls it, it was his bed time. He gets in bed by 10pm on work nights and how I envy him his ability to fall immediately asleep. While he was watching the ol night time re-runs of Frasier, I sat at my computer checking e-mail, looking at latest MSN news. But I was Waaaay too restless.

So, hubby was already sleepy at this point but I was completely restless, because I know me and I know that I will be up all night again. I told him I was going to run to the gas station for a hot chocolate. I had been wanting one.... and they always taste better from the gas station vending machiney thingy.....

So I asked him what kind of prize he wanted from there. I was using all my hoarded quarters for the trip. He asked how much money I had and I happily told him 5 dollars!! I'm basically rich! He laughed and said ok then, peanut butter m&m's. That was WAY E-Z! No prob! By the time I got home...( and the gas station is only 5 minutes away) he was completely out!!!! So I set them at his bedside as I knew he would eat them for breakfast; and tiptoed out to the living room with laptop in hand and began writing this entry. Then the lap top died ( of course.... ) so I had to use the computer in his office to complete this VERY long winded WAA WAA tale of WOE!

But I guess I DO actually feel a bit better to get this crap off my chest; heck; I may even shower and leave the house tomorrow to drop off some more resumes around town! Cool.... So thanks for reading.... or trying to read, at least. Until you succumbed to your restful slumber.... that little pile of drool collecting down your chin and onto your desk ( or shirt, if u nodded off , laptop in hand, while sitting on your couch!!!) sweet dreams to you and may tomorrow ( today!!!!) bring you a random smile or a moment of joy or maybe just a little PEACE.

Thank you for allowing me to un-burden my heart and feel like I can face tomorrow!!!! Cool..... hope you come back and try again to read this stuff.... I'm not normally so morose and crybaby!

Y'all Come Back Now,YA'HEAR?!?!!!

Hug someone you love.....