Russsell Crowe was a Chick...

Today I was going through a bunch of my old fiction writings and essays when I stumbled across the one I am sharing today. Ten years ago I wrote Russell Crowe was a Chick in a writing course I was taking. It made me laugh then and it made me laugh again today as I re-read it. So, maybe it will give you a laugh or a smile or whatever..... Enjoy!!!

Russell Crowe was a CHICK.

I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. Death by suffocation, an unremarkable but deserved consequence. I try, unsuccessfully, to wrap my brain around this drama that has become my life.

I am trapped in my Jeep driving cross country with a man who is more of a woman than I am! Will his tears and mangled sobs NEVER cease? I thought I was in love with him---- then, he stepped off the plane and I realized I wasn't. Okay ( my next thoughts, a half hearted attempt at rationalization ) at least I LIKE him, right? Wrong. Because, looking at him now, I am completely disgusted and repulsed. Maybe I had seen him as a way out of my perpetual singleness. I was feeling somewhat pressured now, in my twenty-seventh year, to settle down and create some stability in my completely unstable world.

If I weren't so traumatized sitting across from him in this rolling coffin, it would all be hilarious. Unfortunately, I was far too immersed in misery and disgust to see any humor in the situation. What had I been thinking? I had packed up EVERYTHING, gave away anything that wouldn't fit in the Jeep, and was leaving my best friends, my family, and a certain man who had reminded me what life was all about in the last three months. And all for this ----- this man who, granted, bore a striking resemblance to Russell Crowe and who I had spent a total of seventeen days with in the last ten months in a long-distance phone relationship. Were it not for the Xanax I had been discreetly popping at frequent intervals, I believe I would have leapt from the Jeep as it maintained it's highway speed and bounced unceremoniously to my death on a lonely, dark stretch of isolated desert highway.

And now, after twenty-seven years of stubborn denial, I must admit that my father was, is and ALWAYS has been right. Especially about me. I never just get my feet wet. I either jump right in or observe from the outskirts.

The three day drive from Albuquerque to Florida was surrealistically ETERNAL. By the time we reached his apartment I knew I was going home. I told him not to bother unloading the Jeep. I had made a mistake. I was not in love with him and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I stayed so, I was going home. To my mom and dad. To the three brothers I completely adore. And to the man I had become close with and who had made me realize I wasn't ready to just " settle". He made me believe again that maybe, just maybe, there was someone out there that would inspire passion in me. Who could challenge me and disagree with me. Who could open my mind to possibilities that would never otherwise be considered. Someone like him. And so, with one simple phone call, he promptly purchased a plane ticket to Florida and a day and a half later made the long journey back with me. Only, with him, it wasn't so long......

That ride back remains, to this day, the best journey I have ever made.....

So , thats it.... hope you enjoyed the story and thanks for taking a little trip down memory lane with me!!!!!

Until next time, hug someone!